Season 1 (2003)

7.91 avg 25 episodes 8.1 → 8.1 21 min avg

Season 1 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
0	Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot	8.1	1,436
1	Pilot	8.1	2,909
2	Big Flappy Bastards	7.7	2,383
3	Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell	7.7	2,206
4	If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap	7.9	2,133
5	The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump	7.8	2,112
6	Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?	7.5	2,006
7	If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake	8.3	2,127
8	Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful	7.8	1,990
9	Phase One, Complete	7.5	1,903
10	Merry Thanksgiving	8.0	2,070
11	Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor	7.6	1,867
12	Camel Filters and Pheromones	8.6	2,873
13	Sarah Like Puny Alan	7.6	1,842
14	I Can't Afford Hyenas	7.7	1,863
15	Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick	7.8	1,956
16	That Was Saliva, Alan	7.8	1,904
17	Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats	7.9	1,834
18	An Old Flame with a New Wick	8.4	2,166
19	I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You	8.1	1,930
20	Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark	7.5	1,781
21	No Sniffing, No Wowing	8.0	1,921
22	My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet	7.8	1,781
23	Just Like Buffalo	8.5	2,095
24	Can You Feel My Finger	8.1	1,851

Season 2 (2004)

7.88 avg 24 episodes 7.9 → 8.3 22 min avg

Rebound

Season 2 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Back Off Mary Poppins	7.9	2,215
2	Enjoy Those Garlic Balls	7.6	1,676
3	A Bag Full of Jawea	7.9	1,729
4	Go Get Mommy's Bra	7.9	1,647
5	Bad News from the Clinic	7.6	1,667
6	The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance	7.8	1,618
7	A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana	7.3	1,634
8	Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers	8.0	1,655
9	Yes, Monsignor	7.7	1,673
10	The Salmon Under My Sweater	7.9	1,648
11	Last Chance to See Those Tattoos	8.0	1,697
12	A Lung Full of Alan	8.0	1,755
13	Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów	8.2	1,686
14	Those Big Pink Things with Coconut	7.6	1,546
15	Smell the Umbrella Stand	7.8	1,575
16	Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?	8.2	1,692
17	Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!	7.8	1,655
18	It Was Mame, Mom	8.1	1,789
19	A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise	7.8	1,631
20	I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey	7.6	1,619
21	A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On	7.8	1,608
22	That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother	7.6	1,583
23	Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab	8.7	2,192
24	Does This Smell Funny to You	8.3	1,758

Season 3 (2005)

7.92 avg 24 episodes 7.8 → 8.1 22 min avg

Season 3 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts	7.8	1,666
2	Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover	8.1	1,723
3	Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark	7.7	1,520
4	Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs	7.7	1,523
5	We Called It Mr. Pinky	7.7	1,568
6	Hi, Mr. Horned One	8.4	2,150
7	Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop	7.9	1,686
8	That Voodoo That I Do Do	8.3	1,777
9	Madame and Her Special Friend	8.0	1,634
10	Something Salted and Twisted	7.5	1,489
11	Santa's Village of the Damned	8.3	1,836
12	That Special Tug	8.0	1,621
13	Humiliation Is a Visual Medium	7.6	1,482
14	Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded	8.2	1,601
15	My Tongue Is Meat	7.8	1,489
16	Ergo, the Booty Call	8.4	1,663
17	The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer	7.5	1,494
18	The Spit-Covered Cobbler	7.7	1,457
19	Golly Moses, She's a Muffin	7.9	1,520
20	Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro	8.3	1,688
21	And the Plot Moistens	7.7	1,496
22	Just Once with Aunt Sophie	7.9	1,463
23	Arguments for the Quickie	7.7	1,424
24	That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite	8.1	1,530

Season 4 (2006)

7.82 avg 24 episodes 7.6 → 8.2 22 min avg

Season 4 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Working for Caligula	7.6	1,524
2	Who's Vod Kanockers	7.8	1,555
3	The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress	7.5	1,491
4	A Pot Smoking Monkey	7.5	1,448
5	A Live Woman of Proven Fertility	7.8	1,493
6	Apologies for the Frivolity	8.3	1,729
7	Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head	7.8	1,522
8	Release the Dogs	7.9	1,519
9	Corey's Been Dead for an Hour	7.7	1,502
10	Kissing Abraham Lincoln	7.7	1,504
11	Walnuts and Demerol	8.6	1,904
12	Castrating Sheep in Montana	7.6	1,448
13	Don't Worry, Speed Racer	7.6	1,436
14	That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami	7.7	1,471
15	My Damn Stalker	7.8	1,466
16	Young People Have Phlegm Too	7.7	1,494
17	I Merely Slept with a Commie	7.5	1,406
18	It Never Rains in Hooterville	7.6	1,409
19	Smooth as a Ken Doll	8.1	1,522
20	Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot	8.2	1,547
21	Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous	7.7	1,461
22	Mr. McGlue's Feedbag	7.7	1,391
23	Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin	8.0	1,575
24	Prostitutes and Gelato	8.2	1,534

Season 5 (2007)

7.89 avg 19 episodes 7.8 → 7.8 22 min avg

Season 5 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Large Birds, Spiders and Mom	7.8	1,480
2	Media Room Slash Dungeon	7.8	1,441
3	Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo	7.8	1,433
4	City of Great Racks	7.8	1,429
5	Putting Swim Fins on a Cat	7.8	1,426
6	Help Daddy Find His Toenail	7.7	1,411
7	Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room	7.6	1,387
8	Is There a Mrs. Waffles?	8.5	1,850
9	Tight's Good	7.9	1,446
10	Kinda Like Necrophilia	8.0	1,514
11	Meander to Your Dander	8.0	1,468
12	A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh	7.7	1,412
13	The Soil is Moist	8.1	1,516
14	Winky-Dink Time	7.9	1,446
15	Rough Night in Hump Junction	7.7	1,418
16	Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty	7.8	1,409
17	Fish in a Drawer	8.6	2,107
18	If My Hole Could Talk	7.7	1,431
19	Waiting for the Right Snapper	7.8	1,419

Season 6 (2008)

7.87 avg 24 episodes 7.8 → 8.3 22 min avg

Season 6 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Taterhead Is Our Love Child	7.8	1,527
2	Pie Hole, Herb	7.7	1,402
3	Damn You, Eggs Benedict	7.9	1,457
4	The Flavin' and the Mavin'	7.7	1,471
5	A Jock Strap in Hell	7.5	1,479
6	It's Always Nazi Week	8.0	1,388
7	Best H.O. Money Can Buy	7.9	1,366
8	Pinocchio's Mouth	7.7	1,361
9	The Mooch at the Boo	8.5	1,733
10	He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited	7.6	1,340
11	The Devil's Lube	7.7	1,457
12	Thank God for Scoliosis	8.1	1,469
13	I Think You Offended Don	7.5	1,345
14	David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie	8.0	1,405
15	I'd Like to Start with the Cat	7.6	1,321
16	She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime	8.2	1,475
17	The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?	7.6	1,326
18	My Son's Enormous Head	7.6	1,328
19	The Two Finger Rule	8.7	1,911
20	Hello, I am Alan Cousteau	7.8	1,364
21	Above Exalted Cyclops	8.1	1,404
22	Sir Lancelot's Litter Box	7.6	1,305
23	Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth	7.7	1,350
24	Baseball Was Better with Steroids	8.3	1,541

Season 7 (2009)

7.78 avg 22 episodes 8.1 → 7.8 21 min avg

Season 7 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	818-jklpuzo	8.1	1,611
2	Whipped Unto the Third Generation	7.7	1,385
3	Mmm, Fish. Yum.	7.6	1,339
4	Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator	7.6	1,315
5	For the Sake of the Child	7.6	1,362
6	Give Me Your Thumb	7.9	1,354
7	Untainted by Filth	7.9	1,390
8	Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.	8.5	1,868
9	Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair	7.7	1,331
10	That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'	7.9	1,322
11	Warning, It's Dirty	7.9	1,402
12	Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste	7.8	1,329
13	Yay, No Polyps	7.8	1,337
14	Crude and Uncalled For	7.5	1,298
15	Aye, Aye, Captain Douche	7.5	1,302
16	Tinkle Like a Princess	7.6	1,324
17	I Found Your Moustache	7.4	1,282
18	Ixnay on the Oggie Day	8.2	1,405
19	Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave	7.7	1,279
20	I Called Him Magoo	7.6	1,348
21	Gumby with a Pokey	7.9	1,410
22	This Is Not Gonna End Well	7.8	1,313

Season 8 (2010)

7.74 avg 16 episodes 8.4 → 7.5 23 min avg

Season 8 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud	8.4	1,712
2	A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer	7.9	1,408
3	A Pudding-Filled Cactus	7.8	1,372
4	Hookers, Hookers, Hookers	8.0	1,464
5	The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel	7.6	1,375
6	Twanging Your Magic Clanger	8.0	1,455
7	The Crazy Bitch Gazette	7.7	1,342
8	Springtime on a Stick	7.7	1,346
9	A Good Time in Central Africa	8.0	1,373
10	Ow, Ow, Don't Stop	7.4	1,337
11	Dead from the Waist Down	7.4	1,275
12	Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead	7.2	1,281
13	Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup	7.6	1,295
14	Lookin' for Japanese Subs	7.6	1,292
15	Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak	8.1	1,397
16	That Darn Priest	7.5	1,475

Season 9 (2011)

5.99 avg 24 episodes 5.4 → 6.4 25 min avg

Season 9 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt	5.4	3,877
2	People Who Love Peepholes	5.3	2,054
3	Big Girls Don't Throw Food	5.3	1,735
4	Nine Magic Fingers	5.6	1,559
5	A Giant Cat Holding a Churro	5.8	1,461
6	The Squat and the Hover	5.6	1,420
7	Those Fancy Japanese Toilets	5.9	1,340
8	Thank You for the Intercourse	6.6	1,446
9	Frodo's Headshots	6.4	1,424
10	A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes	6.2	1,328
11	What a Lovely Landing Strip	6.3	1,266
12	One False Move, Zimbabwe!	5.7	1,323
13	Slowly and in a Circular Fashion	6.6	1,247
14	A Possum on Chemo	6.3	1,178
15	The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack	6.4	1,215
16	Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy	6.6	1,192
17	Not in My Mouth!	5.5	1,248
18	The War Against Gingivitis	5.6	1,125
19	Palmdale, Ech	6.3	1,096
20	Grandma's Pie	6.0	1,093
21	Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'	6.1	1,069
22	Why We Gave Up Women	6.2	1,179
23	The Straw in My Donut Hole	5.7	1,138
24	Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!	6.4	1,152

Season 10 (2012)

6.42 avg 23 episodes 6.1 → 6.4 21 min avg

Rebound

Season 10 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	I Changed My Mind About the Milk	6.1	1,360
2	A Big Bag of Dog	6.2	1,073
3	Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt	6.1	1,141
4	You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For	6.4	1,268
5	That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam	6.4	1,053
6	Ferrets, Attack!	6.0	1,022
7	Avoid the Chinese Mustard	6.3	1,128
8	Something My Gynecologist Said	6.5	1,071
9	I Scream When I Pee	7.0	1,090
10	One Nut Johnson	6.9	1,055
11	Give Santa a Tail-Hole	6.7	1,036
12	Welcome to Alancrest	6.3	1,013
13	Grab a Feather and Get in Line	5.6	1,162
14	Run, Steven Staven! Run!	6.6	1,005
15	Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It	6.8	1,050
16	Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby	6.3	939
17	Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries	6.3	967
18	The 9:04 from Pemberton	6.4	961
19	Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon	6.9	1,041
20	Bazinga! That's From a TV Show	6.9	1,146
21	Another Night with Neil Diamond	6.2	937
22	My Bodacious Vidalia	6.4	963
23	Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped	6.4	1,039

Season 11 (2013)

6.33 avg 22 episodes 6.1 → 6.5 22 min avg

Season 11 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Nangnangnangnang	6.1	1,267
2	I Think I Banged Lucille Ball	5.9	1,049
3	This Unblessed Biscuit	6.0	976
4	Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank	6.3	1,008
5	Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003	6.3	973
6	Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants	6.1	997
7	Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie	6.5	1,008
8	Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.	6.2	921
9	Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer	6.0	985
10	On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!	6.3	994
11	Tazed in the Lady Nuts	6.4	1,020
12	Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.	6.3	927
13	Bite Me, Supreme Court	6.1	966
14	Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe	6.2	901
15	Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin	6.2	899
16	How to Get Rid of Alan Harper	6.5	935
17	Welcome Home, Jake	6.6	934
18	West Side Story	6.5	913
19	Lan mao shi zai wuding shang	7.1	1,078
20	Lotta Delis in Little Armenia	7.1	1,048
21	Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot	6.1	898
22	Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead	6.5	992

Season 12 (2014)

5.41 avg 15 episodes 5.2 → 3.7 22 min avg

Season 12 episodes — IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	The Ol' Mexican Spinach	5.2	1,200
2	A Chic Bar in Ibiza	5.2	1,116
3	Glamping in a Yurt	5.4	1,029
4	Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight	5.5	991
5	Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.	5.2	978
6	Alan Shot a Little Girl	5.3	942
7	Sex with an Animated Ed Asner	5.9	959
8	Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey	5.6	939
9	Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey	5.7	917
10	Here I Come, Pants!	5.8	921
11	For Whom the Booty Calls	5.5	940
12	A Beer-Battered Rip-Off	5.9	977
13	Boompa Loved His Hookers	5.7	934
14	Don't Give a Monkey a Gun	5.6	1,003
15	Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2	3.7	5,443

Two and a Half Men (2003)

Cast

Seasons