Two and a Half Men (2003)

Comedy · Romance

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

IMDb rating: 7.1 (301,262 votes)
Episode average: 7.3 ↑ +0.2 vs IMDb
Seasons: 12
Streaming (US): Peacock
Language: EN
Type: TV series

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Ratings refreshed Oct 3, 2026 · 12 seasons indexed

Cast

Seasons

Season 1 (2003)

7.91 avg 25 episodes 8.1 → 8.1 21 min avg

Season 1 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
0	Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot	8.1	1,457
1	Pilot	8.1	3,005
2	Big Flappy Bastards	7.7	2,449
3	Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell	7.7	2,266
4	If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap	7.9	2,194
5	The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump	7.8	2,172
6	Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?	7.5	2,063
7	If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake	8.3	2,184
8	Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful	7.8	2,047
9	Phase One, Complete	7.5	1,955
10	Merry Thanksgiving	8.0	2,127
11	Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor	7.6	1,920
12	Camel Filters and Pheromones	8.6	2,938
13	Sarah Like Puny Alan	7.6	1,892
14	I Can't Afford Hyenas	7.7	1,913
15	Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick	7.8	2,008
16	That Was Saliva, Alan	7.8	1,958
17	Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats	7.9	1,890
18	An Old Flame with a New Wick	8.4	2,227
19	I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You	8.1	1,987
20	Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark	7.5	1,839
21	No Sniffing, No Wowing	8.0	1,980
22	My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet	7.8	1,834
23	Just Like Buffalo	8.5	2,155
24	Can You Feel My Finger	8.1	1,901

Season 2 (2004)

7.88 avg 24 episodes 7.9 → 8.3 22 min avg

Rebound

Season 2 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Back Off Mary Poppins	7.9	2,268
2	Enjoy Those Garlic Balls	7.6	1,723
3	A Bag Full of Jawea	7.9	1,775
4	Go Get Mommy's Bra	7.9	1,694
5	Bad News from the Clinic	7.6	1,713
6	The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance	7.8	1,665
7	A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana	7.3	1,685
8	Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers	8.0	1,701
9	Yes, Monsignor	7.7	1,723
10	The Salmon Under My Sweater	7.9	1,695
11	Last Chance to See Those Tattoos	8.0	1,742
12	A Lung Full of Alan	8.0	1,801
13	Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów	8.2	1,726
14	Those Big Pink Things with Coconut	7.6	1,588
15	Smell the Umbrella Stand	7.8	1,613
16	Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?	8.2	1,729
17	Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!	7.8	1,693
18	It Was Mame, Mom	8.1	1,835
19	A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise	7.8	1,672
20	I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey	7.6	1,657
21	A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On	7.8	1,651
22	That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother	7.6	1,626
23	Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab	8.7	2,237
24	Does This Smell Funny to You	8.3	1,802

Season 3 (2005)

7.92 avg 24 episodes 7.8 → 8.1 22 min avg

Season 3 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts	7.8	1,710
2	Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover	8.1	1,765
3	Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark	7.7	1,561
4	Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs	7.7	1,566
5	We Called It Mr. Pinky	7.7	1,610
6	Hi, Mr. Horned One	8.4	2,196
7	Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop	7.9	1,728
8	That Voodoo That I Do Do	8.3	1,823
9	Madame and Her Special Friend	8.0	1,673
10	Something Salted and Twisted	7.5	1,527
11	Santa's Village of the Damned	8.3	1,879
12	That Special Tug	8.0	1,662
13	Humiliation Is a Visual Medium	7.6	1,520
14	Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded	8.2	1,640
15	My Tongue Is Meat	7.8	1,528
16	Ergo, the Booty Call	8.4	1,703
17	The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer	7.5	1,534
18	The Spit-Covered Cobbler	7.7	1,492
19	Golly Moses, She's a Muffin	7.9	1,556
20	Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro	8.3	1,725
21	And the Plot Moistens	7.7	1,533
22	Just Once with Aunt Sophie	7.9	1,500
23	Arguments for the Quickie	7.7	1,457
24	That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite	8.1	1,564

Season 4 (2006)

7.82 avg 24 episodes 7.6 → 8.2 22 min avg

Season 4 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Working for Caligula	7.6	1,562
2	Who's Vod Kanockers	7.8	1,591
3	The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress	7.5	1,528
4	A Pot Smoking Monkey	7.5	1,483
5	A Live Woman of Proven Fertility	7.8	1,527
6	Apologies for the Frivolity	8.3	1,768
7	Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head	7.8	1,557
8	Release the Dogs	7.9	1,556
9	Corey's Been Dead for an Hour	7.7	1,536
10	Kissing Abraham Lincoln	7.7	1,539
11	Walnuts and Demerol	8.6	1,943
12	Castrating Sheep in Montana	7.6	1,485
13	Don't Worry, Speed Racer	7.6	1,472
14	That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami	7.7	1,508
15	My Damn Stalker	7.8	1,504
16	Young People Have Phlegm Too	7.7	1,528
17	I Merely Slept with a Commie	7.5	1,444
18	It Never Rains in Hooterville	7.6	1,445
19	Smooth as a Ken Doll	8.1	1,560
20	Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot	8.2	1,586
21	Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous	7.7	1,490
22	Mr. McGlue's Feedbag	7.7	1,423
23	Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin	8.0	1,606
24	Prostitutes and Gelato	8.2	1,572

Season 5 (2007)

7.89 avg 19 episodes 7.8 → 7.8 22 min avg

Season 5 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Large Birds, Spiders and Mom	7.8	1,512
2	Media Room Slash Dungeon	7.8	1,469
3	Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo	7.8	1,462
4	City of Great Racks	7.8	1,457
5	Putting Swim Fins on a Cat	7.8	1,454
6	Help Daddy Find His Toenail	7.7	1,438
7	Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room	7.6	1,412
8	Is There a Mrs. Waffles?	8.5	1,886
9	Tight's Good	7.9	1,476
10	Kinda Like Necrophilia	8.0	1,541
11	Meander to Your Dander	8.0	1,495
12	A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh	7.7	1,440
13	The Soil is Moist	8.1	1,548
14	Winky-Dink Time	7.9	1,474
15	Rough Night in Hump Junction	7.7	1,443
16	Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty	7.8	1,436
17	Fish in a Drawer	8.6	2,143
18	If My Hole Could Talk	7.7	1,455
19	Waiting for the Right Snapper	7.8	1,444

Season 6 (2008)

7.87 avg 24 episodes 7.8 → 8.3 22 min avg

Season 6 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Taterhead Is Our Love Child	7.8	1,558
2	Pie Hole, Herb	7.7	1,431
3	Damn You, Eggs Benedict	7.9	1,491
4	The Flavin' and the Mavin'	7.7	1,505
5	A Jock Strap in Hell	7.5	1,511
6	It's Always Nazi Week	8.0	1,418
7	Best H.O. Money Can Buy	7.9	1,397
8	Pinocchio's Mouth	7.7	1,388
9	The Mooch at the Boo	8.5	1,770
10	He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited	7.6	1,365
11	The Devil's Lube	7.7	1,489
12	Thank God for Scoliosis	8.1	1,497
13	I Think You Offended Don	7.5	1,371
14	David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie	8.0	1,432
15	I'd Like to Start with the Cat	7.6	1,347
16	She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime	8.2	1,506
17	The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?	7.6	1,356
18	My Son's Enormous Head	7.6	1,353
19	The Two Finger Rule	8.7	1,949
20	Hello, I am Alan Cousteau	7.8	1,390
21	Above Exalted Cyclops	8.1	1,429
22	Sir Lancelot's Litter Box	7.6	1,325
23	Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth	7.7	1,371
24	Baseball Was Better with Steroids	8.3	1,566

Season 7 (2009)

7.79 avg 22 episodes 8.1 → 7.8 21 min avg

Season 7 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	818-jklpuzo	8.1	1,643
2	Whipped Unto the Third Generation	7.8	1,406
3	Mmm, Fish. Yum.	7.6	1,363
4	Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator	7.6	1,336
5	For the Sake of the Child	7.6	1,383
6	Give Me Your Thumb	7.9	1,372
7	Untainted by Filth	7.9	1,411
8	Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.	8.5	1,895
9	Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair	7.7	1,353
10	That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'	7.9	1,344
11	Warning, It's Dirty	7.9	1,424
12	Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste	7.8	1,349
13	Yay, No Polyps	7.8	1,359
14	Crude and Uncalled For	7.5	1,316
15	Aye, Aye, Captain Douche	7.5	1,318
16	Tinkle Like a Princess	7.6	1,344
17	I Found Your Moustache	7.4	1,299
18	Ixnay on the Oggie Day	8.2	1,425
19	Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave	7.7	1,295
20	I Called Him Magoo	7.6	1,365
21	Gumby with a Pokey	7.9	1,433
22	This Is Not Gonna End Well	7.8	1,332

Season 8 (2010)

7.74 avg 16 episodes 8.4 → 7.5 23 min avg

Season 8 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud	8.4	1,737
2	A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer	7.9	1,426
3	A Pudding-Filled Cactus	7.8	1,391
4	Hookers, Hookers, Hookers	8.0	1,486
5	The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel	7.6	1,396
6	Twanging Your Magic Clanger	8.0	1,478
7	The Crazy Bitch Gazette	7.7	1,361
8	Springtime on a Stick	7.7	1,364
9	A Good Time in Central Africa	8.0	1,393
10	Ow, Ow, Don't Stop	7.4	1,359
11	Dead from the Waist Down	7.4	1,296
12	Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead	7.2	1,300
13	Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup	7.6	1,317
14	Lookin' for Japanese Subs	7.6	1,312
15	Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak	8.1	1,418
16	That Darn Priest	7.5	1,500

Season 9 (2011)

5.98 avg 24 episodes 5.4 → 6.3 25 min avg

Season 9 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt	5.4	3,920
2	People Who Love Peepholes	5.3	2,079
3	Big Girls Don't Throw Food	5.3	1,760
4	Nine Magic Fingers	5.6	1,585
5	A Giant Cat Holding a Churro	5.8	1,485
6	The Squat and the Hover	5.6	1,445
7	Those Fancy Japanese Toilets	5.9	1,365
8	Thank You for the Intercourse	6.6	1,475
9	Frodo's Headshots	6.4	1,455
10	A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes	6.2	1,354
11	What a Lovely Landing Strip	6.3	1,293
12	One False Move, Zimbabwe!	5.7	1,351
13	Slowly and in a Circular Fashion	6.6	1,273
14	A Possum on Chemo	6.3	1,204
15	The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack	6.3	1,240
16	Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy	6.6	1,215
17	Not in My Mouth!	5.5	1,272
18	The War Against Gingivitis	5.6	1,146
19	Palmdale, Ech	6.2	1,117
20	Grandma's Pie	6.0	1,114
21	Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'	6.1	1,091
22	Why We Gave Up Women	6.2	1,201
23	The Straw in My Donut Hole	5.7	1,158
24	Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!	6.3	1,173

Season 10 (2012)

6.42 avg 23 episodes 6.1 → 6.4 21 min avg

Rebound

Season 10 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	I Changed My Mind About the Milk	6.1	1,384
2	A Big Bag of Dog	6.2	1,093
3	Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt	6.1	1,163
4	You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For	6.4	1,289
5	That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam	6.4	1,073
6	Ferrets, Attack!	6.0	1,042
7	Avoid the Chinese Mustard	6.3	1,149
8	Something My Gynecologist Said	6.5	1,094
9	I Scream When I Pee	7.0	1,114
10	One Nut Johnson	6.9	1,078
11	Give Santa a Tail-Hole	6.7	1,054
12	Welcome to Alancrest	6.3	1,032
13	Grab a Feather and Get in Line	5.6	1,181
14	Run, Steven Staven! Run!	6.6	1,025
15	Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It	6.8	1,071
16	Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby	6.3	958
17	Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries	6.2	985
18	The 9:04 from Pemberton	6.4	980
19	Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon	6.9	1,062
20	Bazinga! That's From a TV Show	6.9	1,167
21	Another Night with Neil Diamond	6.2	956
22	My Bodacious Vidalia	6.4	987
23	Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped	6.4	1,061

Season 11 (2013)

6.33 avg 22 episodes 6.1 → 6.5 22 min avg

Season 11 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	Nangnangnangnang	6.1	1,294
2	I Think I Banged Lucille Ball	5.9	1,070
3	This Unblessed Biscuit	6.0	1,000
4	Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank	6.2	1,031
5	Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003	6.3	992
6	Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants	6.1	1,018
7	Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie	6.5	1,030
8	Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.	6.2	940
9	Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer	6.0	1,006
10	On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!	6.3	1,016
11	Tazed in the Lady Nuts	6.4	1,038
12	Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.	6.3	944
13	Bite Me, Supreme Court	6.1	986
14	Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe	6.2	919
15	Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin	6.2	918
16	How to Get Rid of Alan Harper	6.5	954
17	Welcome Home, Jake	6.6	950
18	West Side Story	6.5	930
19	Lan mao shi zai wuding shang	7.1	1,095
20	Lotta Delis in Little Armenia	7.1	1,065
21	Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot	6.1	916
22	Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead	6.5	1,010

Season 12 (2014)

5.39 avg 15 episodes 5.2 → 3.7 22 min avg

Season 12 episodes - IMDb ratings
#	Title	Rating	Votes
1	The Ol' Mexican Spinach	5.2	1,222
2	A Chic Bar in Ibiza	5.2	1,133
3	Glamping in a Yurt	5.4	1,050
4	Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight	5.5	1,012
5	Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.	5.2	997
6	Alan Shot a Little Girl	5.2	962
7	Sex with an Animated Ed Asner	5.9	978
8	Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey	5.5	955
9	Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey	5.7	933
10	Here I Come, Pants!	5.8	937
11	For Whom the Booty Calls	5.5	957
12	A Beer-Battered Rip-Off	5.9	993
13	Boompa Loved His Hookers	5.6	951
14	Don't Give a Monkey a Gun	5.6	1,021
15	Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2	3.7	5,383

Two and a Half Men (2003)

Cast

Seasons

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